You are hereby granted permission to
You can accept that you’ve made mistakes—when you knew less, when you were mad, when you were lost or sad—and consider yourself human.
Your human nature is built to learn from experience. You’ll have pleasure and pain, and those sensations will teach you what you’d like to repeat. Or not.
When you are unsure about the results of your actions (when you’re learning), a lot of decisions about the next time will be made after this time. Or not.
Could there be any other way of living except to have done things, and then learned if they were best for, or inconsiderate of, or damaging to… you? You’re creating your progress, your body, your relationships, your environment: you’re connected.
Your actions and inactions matter to you.
But not just you. This is true for all of us. We are all connected. We share the human experience and conditions it creates.
You have permission to take a look at that, and see where your shortcomings have been.
You don’t need to protect yourself from learning what you’d like to improve, what you’re done with, or what you never want to miss out on again.
A regret is a teaching tool. It’s a layer of emotion and judgment. Just make sure when you peel it back, that you look at what’s under it. That’s the layer that matters. You don’t need the regret anymore, once you see what it was built on.
And you can put a new layer right on top, too. Those layers of choices and results are all connected…but don’t panic, they’re not set in stone.
Just like you’re not stuck wearing your clothes from 20 years ago or that one haircut—you know the one—you’re also able to choose new actions, based on past experiences.
You can have regrets, so long as you use them for good, not evil. Because you are always learning. And everything is always changing.
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