Some days are worse than others; some days feel truly terrible. There’s no way around hard times for most of us.
What you need when a day goes from bad to worse is not to go down with it. You need yourself to pull you through.
But on some days, let’s face it: we can’t be there for ourselves. We don’t see the light or we don’t have the strength!
Even on these very bad days, you don’t have to settle for all that went wrong. When you look, you can usually find there is more to it than that.
Your day isn’t over till you call it.
How many very bad days are made better by
- tucking in a baby at night
- watching a beautiful sunset
- calling a dear friend
- turning on a favorite song, or
- the kind word of a stranger?
It’s difficult to remember these turnarounds in our own lives, because on terrible days, we don’t always feel like we are enjoying anything.
There are times when it seems impossible to imagine a way to love each day.
Sometimes, it IS impossible, under the circumstances. When tragedy strikes, there is no reason to force a salvage of a day you would rather erase altogether. Some days we wish had never happened.
Other days are simply a catastrophe. An utter disappointment. An outrage!
We label them, and so we experience them as such.
I remember this sinking, gray feeling that surrounded our family when my mother was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Or the day we had our minivan repossessed.
Events can cause heartache that cannot (and should not) be denied.
Or they fill us with worry, fear, anger… so many emotions to contend with. It can make any positivity or “silver lining” seem false and out of reach.
But you can make it a point to remember that most of the time, there is more to a day than the worst of it. Even on days like the ones I remember above.
Don’t Settle for Memories
Now that my mother has passed away, and my grief is not so acute, I can see how the day we got the initial news of her cancer had a great deal to love about it. Our togetherness. I missed feeling it at the time, but I loved our togetherness that day.
Now that we are long past a failed business, a bankruptcy and the van repossession that went with it, I remember the love I felt that day for everything we DID have. I had shame, but I also had a baby in my arms, and we took excellent care of our children.
It’s true, there is no use in trying to deny the natural, human feelings we experience when bad things happen.
But there is a LOT of use for trying to enjoy something in any day. You can find that something by looking for the part of your day that isn’t the worst of it.
That is the part you love.
And if you don’t find a part like that, you don’t have to settle. You can add it in. Before another day is gone. Take that much for yourself.
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