These days, there seems to be a real prejudice against acceptance–we’re taught and expected to strive for more and better.
When we think about being who we are, where we are, with what we have, we’re not compelled to be okay with that. That might be settling.
We’re supposed to do our best and be our best. To believe in our dreams. This can translate into feelings of insufficiency, real quick.
Because in reality, we can only do our best given the circumstances, and we can’t always be our best. Best is the top. So we feel sorry about that. A lot.
Tell the whole truth.
You will be surprised by how much regret was dragging you down and holding you back, as soon as you let go of it.
How? The truth will set you free.
When you are true, it eliminates your need to feel sorry. And that’s important, because when you are sorry, it tends to prevent you from moving forward, making a change or acting as you wish.
I’m not saying you should never apologize or that you can’t learn from your mistakes.
I’m saying, if you will be honest in your assessment of a situation, it will give you the chance to do something about it, instead of feeling sorry about it.
Acceptance isn’t the same as settling.
Not sure you believe this? Allow me to share some examples:
- You feel sorry about what you said in anger. You wish you hadn’t, but you did. Now that relationship may never be repaired? You’re sorry about that, too.
- You can be sorry you said something in anger. Now what? Just be true–you want to apologize and express how you wish you hadn’t. Go ahead!
- You can be sorry you never saw an opportunity, or sorry you overlooked someone in need. What good does that do, you or anyone?
- Just be true. You recognize your omissions, state them, own them. With this on the table, you now know what you’ll do different. Own that, too!
- You can be sorry for your addiction, sorry for your mistakes, sorry about your health, sorry about your loss. You can also be whole, with the truth.
- When you are true, you place yourself in reality, in this moment. And in this moment you have choices. When you’re sorry, you’re still in the past. Or you’re predicting a future you don’t know about yet.
Being sorry is an act that takes up energy. It’s useful to express apologies; it’s not useful to BE in an apologetic state.
Being true moves you from what was to what is. And it brings you back from what you imagine could go wrong. It’s encouraging to realize that you’re actually not doomed. This is not your final resume.
Feeling sorry is a state of being that portrays itself as if it’s the end point. It tricks you into thinking you are done. So you don’t Own Your Truth, instead you use your sorry feelings to make up for it.
Acceptance is an actionable way to live. It acknowledges our flaws and mistakes as well as our potential and our growth. It’s troubling how often we feel apologetic over what is neutral, or even positive, in our lives.
Next time you find yourself in a sorry state, stop. Just be true. And then do.
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